


stuck up there

by tisapear



Category: Naruto
Genre: Ignores everything past chapter 698, M/M, Post-Canon, They still have both arms because fuck you, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha, the sns is established but not all that relevant tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22301413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisapear/pseuds/tisapear
Summary: Special Jōnin at age 19 and the war hero's personal guard, andthiswas what he had to deal with: babysitting the Hokage-to-be turned feline reincarnated due to seal drastically, fundamentally gone wrong.
Relationships: Slight Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	stuck up there

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt by my lovely wife, going as follows, "Write me Naruto stuck in a tree and Sasuke is trying to get him down but Naruto is scared AF and cries until he eventually falls off the branch"

"Come _down_."

The words felt like a moldy repetition on his tongue. It was worsened by the answering pout, lips ever so pelutantly pulled downwards, eyes half-lidded and tears straining the salty-raw corners of glimmering eyes. 

"And for the love of all that is holy, _stop_ giving me that expression."

A pathetic whimper.

"I can't believe I'm actually in this situation." Sasuke let his hand rest over his eyes just a few more seconds —maybe, against all hope, the image would change, if only he put enough pressure against his resolutely pressed together eyelids—until he slowly let it slide down, cupped over his mouth, pointer finger resting on his cupid's bow, pinky supporting his chin. He released a sigh through his nose, the air a warm sensation on his fingers.

"Okay," he said. Repeated, "Okay. I'm just—" He sat down, cross-legged, toes wriggling against the hollows of his knees. Sword, so profoundly held up just a moment ago, was now sheathed, having beared no results. (None other than more of those ridiculous— _tears_ , and he would sneer if he didn't know that it'd only upset **this** Naruto even more). Fully aware that Naruto wouldn't catch a single drop of the dripping sarcasm, he said, "I guess I'm just gonna sit here and wait until you come down by yourself. Since I have nothing better to do, apparently." And wasn't that a horror scenario in itself? It would be boring, and by now, everyone was well acquainted with what happened when an Uchiha was _bored_. 

If Naruto was currently in possession of even an ounce of common sense, Sasuke might have actually used it as a bargaining chip. 

Alas, 

More whimpers, followed by the painful sound of claw-like fingers scratching the old bark right off the tree. Sasuke didn't even try to hide his smirk. He looked at his own fingernails, blasé, and could easily imagine the pain Naruto was sure to experience later on.

Well, not that the idiot didn't deserve it.

Sasuke looked up and squinted against the blinding sunlight, let it shiver through his eyelashes. 

Naruto truly made a pathetic picture up there, stuck on the highest branch of the tree, legs iddly dangling with his shoes half undone and arms firmly wrapped around the trunk. His lips were quivering and his hair was in disarray, drooping down, sadly. ( _Pathetic_ , his mind supplied, so damn pathetic and not adorable, not even the _slightest_ bit.)

Looking sideways, he ignored the downright betrayed look crossing Naruto's face, caught from the corners of his eyes. They stayed like that for a while, Sasuke wishing that damn war had just eliminated them all and Naruto staring at Sasuke like he stole the last ramen noodle from right under his nose, like the traitor the village still believed him to be. (Damn hypocrites, the lot of them.) 

Then Sasuke dashed forward, feet firmly planted on the tree trunk—

—and was met with a hissing noise so loud, it reverberated through his ribcage, tucking itself into the empty spaces inbetween his vertebrae. 

He jumped down, exasperated.

"You don't want me to come up and _get you_ , you don't want me to _leave you alone_ , so tell me, Naruto—just what do you _want_ from me?"

A quite philosophical question, had it been articulated just a few years prior, but now Naruto merely looked at him thoughtfully, head tilted. Sasuke raised his eyebrows. But Naruto just whined, a sound so ridiculously high-pitched and annoying, Sasuke wanted to bury his head underground.

Special Jōnin at age 19 and the war hero's personal guard, and _this_ was what he had to deal with: babysitting the Hokage-to-be turned feline reincarnated due to seal drastically, fundamentally gone wrong. 

He really should have chosen an easier profession. Tomato farmer, for example. Could have thrown _those_ at Itachi and gotten revenge _that_ way. Would have made his life dramatically easier. 

Wait a second. 

Seated once more he leaned forward and blinked, incredulous, brows furrowed. 

Was that idiot _still_ crying? (Again? Honestly, who knew at this point.) 

That wasn't his life. 

That _couldn't_ be his life. 

But, no, big, fat, ugly tears were rolling down Naruto's already red and tender cheeks once more, and if Sasuke didn't intervene soon, Konoha would be in possession of its very own rain forest. 

(Maybe they could make it a tourist attraction and earn the amount needed for that strange invention Naruto was invested in realising that way. Trains or something, they called them. Transportation for the lazy and common, Sasuke dubbed them.) 

Sasuke threw his arms up. "You know what?" he shouted at Naruto, who sniffed pa-the-ti-cal-ly and looked at him with the most pitiful puppy eyes in existence. 

"I'm done! Done, you hear me? D o n e. As in, I'm actually, honest to god **done!** " He unholstered his sword and threw it to the floor, stomping on it twice, just for good measure. "I hereby declare that I quit. Take that as my official resignation, because I did _not_ sign up for this." Naruto stared at him, eyebrows knitted together in worry. He stood up on shaky legs, almost slipping with his sandal clasps opened, arms still slung snugly around the trunk of the tree. His expression was alarmed. 

_Good._ He should be. 

"I'm—" Sasuke threw his arm in the direction of the flowery path leading out of the village "—gonna go and just, I don't know, look if I can find Orochimaru and let his snakes eat me or something, because by _god_ would that be more enjoyable than this here." He turned around, as if to leave, and not one second later did he hear a loud noise behind him, followed by the ever so familiar wailing. 

Naruto was sprawled out on the floor, braced on his knees, leaves tangled in his hair and probably stuck everywhere inside his clothes. 

His left shoe had finally slipped off, clinging to the branch Naruto had previously taken residency on. 

They were Naruto's favorites, but Sasuke had never liked them and thus saw it as karmic retribution. 

He let out a sigh. "You're so fucking stupid," he mumbled to no one but himself, and went over to Naruto's crumpled form, hauling him up. "I hope you're aware I'll never let you live this down." 

Naruto simply stared at him, unblinking, because that was pretty much one of the only three things the idiot had done the last few hours. Then Naruto nuzzled his nose against the fingers still wrapped around his wrist. 

Sasuke looked up, praying for patience. 

Naruto's face was firmly planted inside his hands, but that didn't do much to hide the traitorous red crawling all over his bare neck, swinging over to the tips of his ears. 

"Oh and _then_ ," Sasuke said, his expression not quite gleeful but close enough, voice laced with malicious joy, "you started purring. Actual from-the-depths-of-your-throat purring. _After_ you adamantly demanded chin scratches, of course." 

Naruto let out a groan, pressing his face against the dark wood of his desk. "I'm gonna resign and settle down in a cabin in the woods," he said. Paused. Then added, "In the Land of Rice. Rice is nice, it's not gonna laugh at me, right?" 

Sasuke waited until Naruto lifted his head, then swooped down and left a quick kiss on one burning cheek while condescendingly patting the other one. 

"I think it would already be more than enough to leave seal scrolls that mysteriously show up in your apartment alone, _Hokage-sama_." 

**Author's Note:**

> Editing this I've come to the realization that if this had been written from Naruto's POV, it would have been some angsty shit
> 
> (Actually I might do that at some point, heh)


End file.
